I have changed.
I know it.
This season of life has completely reworked how I think.
How I view life.
How I see Christ.
It’s hard to say why exactly because it is a combination of so many different things.
Don’t get me wrong, I’m still “me” but I am growing, learning and loving life in a whole new light.
Many of you know me to be scheduled, organized, and maybe even a little obsessive about my routine and schedule. I thrive on predictability. But you know what?
Life is not predictable.
And, with God’s help, I am slowly learning to embrace the unexpected and unforeseeable extremes that keep coming my way.
Because quite simply...God is SO good!
His way is lovely, true, and pure. So, I hold on to that during this season of constant change.
I hold on to it because He promises to direct my paths.
I seek to trust Him with all my heart and soul.
To acknowledge Him.
So I try, and by trying (and failing) I have changed.
I am different because my course is different.
I am excited and anxious.
Scared and relieved.
Joyful to be used and fearful that I am far from adequate.
I spend my days praying about and planning for things like homeschooling in a country that doesn’t speak our language. Or how I will entertain my four kids on a 27 hour flight without making everyone else on board wish they had booked a different flight. Thoughts on second languages, visas, passport expiration dates, vaccinations, saying good-bye (again and again) and so much more flood my thoughts when my head hits the pillow at night.
These things (and more) have all changed. They are different than they were a few months ago. Friendships are more distant, homeschooling plans have been thrown upside down, our children have grown, our future is unlike the picture we had in our head.
I use this word a lot in my life now. I have to constantly remind our kids that different isn’t bad, it’s just...different. Often, I have to repeat this phrase to myself as well because to be quite honest this new calling IS different and sometimes a little peculiar. It is an open book and while we are never really sure what the title of the next chapter might be, we are truly excited to add to its pages so that we can share more about missionary life with each and every one of you. What I do know is that this new chapter in my life is about change greater than I can personally comprehend. But change is nothing to be afraid of.
Change changes us.
Today will be different than tomorrow. And next week will look nothing like the last.
I embrace today.
And I count it a blessing to be able to do so.
So, I might be different next time you see me...because my life IS different.
But I am still me.
Part of our walk with Him often includes a season of change. I encourage you to embrace it. Live it and use it for His glory.
The seasons change and you change, but the Lord abides evermore the same,
and the streams of His love are as deep, as broad and as full as ever.